There is too much to say about how bad I feel right now. I know it sounds crazy, but I am grieving far more than I ever thought I would over to loss of a pet. On Saturday I took Misty, our nearly 16 year old cat, to the Vet one last time. When they checked her out an X-Ray revealed a tumor that had broken her jaw. There was nothing we could do and so I signed a little piece of paper that gave them permission to put her to sleep.
No need for me to tell the story of Misty as my wife has done a much better job than I could ever do. All I can say is that my heart is heavy and I miss her. I think I am also really trying to come to grips with how my little girl is taking all this — her first word was Kitty and she loved Misty like a sister. This morning as I was getting ready for work, she, my son, and my wife came into the bathroom and I said something to the effect that, “the whole family was here.” My little five year old looked at me and said, “no it isn’t, Daddy, Kitty isn’t here.” The house is quiet and the adjustment is big. Hard to articulate and I feel silly and strange to walk around with this much hurt for my cat. She was with my wife and I since we moved in together in college, traveled the east coast with us as we forged a life together, and was with us through the birth of both our children. She is missed greatly.
Misty, August 30, 1991 – March 31, 2007
Don’t feel silly for grieving the loss of Misty. I have four pets, and it’s hard to think about the day when one of them will no longer be there. These little beings work their way into our hearts, for sure, and deservedly so.
I read your wife’s post, and Misty sounds a lot like one of my cats. My condolences to you and the rest of the family.
Cole – nothing silly, nothing strange about grieving for a lost pet. Their hissy fits and their naughty behaviors aside, our pets remain completely innocent and unconditionally loving to the end of their days with us. Because of their innocence, they are completely vulnerable. I think we are always aware of that on one level or another – that our pets depend upon us entirely for their well-being. This adds a great deal of poignancy to our relationship with them. Pets have a way of worming deep into our hearts and making a home there. When they die, they leave behind a big, aching, hollow space in our hearts. It takes a long time to heal over. Actually it never really does. Nor should it. Because that’s where the good memories dwell.
My first word was “kitty” too.
Rose and Brad, thanks so much for the thoughts. It has been a rough week on many levels. Again, it is hard to explain why, but the house is much quieter and seems empty — even with two little ones bouncing off the walls. We’ll get better, but we’ll also never forget. Last night the little lady and I were out in the backyard at dusk and she looked up and said, “Daddy, that must be Misty on that star … I’ve never seen that star before.” Then she cried for about 30 minutes. Breaks the heart to see her so upset.
Here’s to Misty, your tale bringing a tear to the eye of a dog fanatic.
Pets get you right *there* in the heart, more than you ever think/
Cole, I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s very hard to lose a pet–far worse than those who haven’t had the joy could ever know. Our cat is also 16, and has also been with us since the beginning. I know we, too, will be grieving deeply for her when the time finally comes.
Again, my sympathies to all of you.